PIF stands for the Pankkake Investment Fund.
In light of all the recent losses for investors, I am now offering a fund that is guaranteed not to lose its value.
It's pretty simple: you invest any amount in PIF, and you are guaranteed to get it back anytime, at 100% of its value. There are no dividends, but it's still a better investment than ASICs.
The past performance of PIF is stellar: by not investing in Labcon, Ice.Drool and InactiveMining, our investors still have 100% of their bitcoins.
Note: there is a 0.005 BTC management fee for withdrawals.
The sad thing is that if you actually IPOd, there would be enough people trying to make money off a post-IPO bubble that you'd actually attract some investment into a fund that doesn't do anything.
The wonders of the bitcoin world.