If the funds on the bankroll were 100% my own, I would have shut the site down by now. I would have lost enough already. I wasn't expecting variance to be this much of a bitch at all. I was expecting ups and downs, but not like this.
For the first couple of months I felt like the bankroll was mine. I couldn't sleep with the worry that it would be lost. I have found that the only way I can relax is to stop worrying about the bankroll. It's not healthy for me to be constantly stressed about the ups and downs of the site's bankroll. I'm still happy to see it go up, and sad to see it go down, but I'm not as attached to it any more. I think it helped when I put the max profit down to 0.25% and got a massive "no, put it back, we want the variance" from the majority of investors. It made me realise that the investors know what they're doing, and that I don't have to baby them. I still sometimes feel like the best thing to do would be to shut the site down, but then I remember that the investors want the chance to recoup their losses.
Having said that, I was watching mechs almost lose everything just now, and hoping he wouldn't. It would have been great for the house if he had lost it all, but so sad for him too.
I hope that answers your question, and isn't too disappointing.
As an investor I am happy with this answear. I can take the variance, I have lost huge sums on various things before in life. I invested a sum I was willing to risk for this risk and have other sum's with other risks. Even before this investment I know I was not maximizing my value given what I believe is likely to happen, I am too risk averse and have a strong falling utility function, I do in fact believe I would be less happy as a
bitcoin billionare than as a bitcoin milionaire and the same is probably true for USD.