This appears to me as both a funny and a puzzling question. This may be a highly theoretical question but this is surely a good one.

But, to be honest, after thinking of my own set of criteria before joining any ICO, I think Bitcoin would fail. I do not invest in an ICO that has not proven something yet. In this case, since you set the case that Bitcoin did not yet exist, Bitcoin does not have any track record yet. I also do not trust an ICO with an anonymous team, much less a one-man team carrying only an alias. I also do not invest in a project's ICO whose background and experiences of the members of the team are not presented.

But then again, Bitcoin never had an ICO nor any of these criteria of mine, and yet as if it is written in the scriptures, it became miraculously successful, and even getting bigger and bigger up to this moment.