gawd awful. This is why I loathe this space

I'm going to start a conference called "Steve Jobs' Vision". It's going to be all about how Apple has lost it's way, and the NeXT computer was the perfect desktop computer that people should have been using all along. I'll manufacture about 5 new NeXT computers, and take pre-orders for the rest.
I'm sure Apple enthusiasts will all trash their Macbooks and iPhones and turn out for my conference by the thousands. Because "hur dur mah vision".

This would likely work. This is what all ASIC makers like Bitmain do now. But they take your pre-order money and mine themselves for 4 months..then MAYBE ship them...
(Dec 2017 to March 2018 all orders to regular minions from bitmain now shipping)
now you've done it....your plan above will be followed into this new realm now!...