...and the counter would be, show me in the original whitepaper where it says use LN or some other equivalent.
My counter is "Don't shift the goalposts, asshole."
It's arguable LN is more "reasonable" for micropayments than the main chain, because you need to lock funds in, before you can do anything, to begin with, so 0-conf doesn't even enter the equation.
LN is at least 3 confirmations, IIRC, for on-chain resolution.