So I finally got someone from Cloudhashing to contact me, on Tuesday evening. They asked for a ton of details and said they would pass my information on to their "technical manager" to see what is going on. No update since, but I suppose it's at least partially reassuring that there is someone there.
I'm still £700+ out of pocket for absolutely nothing in return just now, though. Could anyone with a platinum contract confirm how much BTC they have received in total since last Friday?