Do you really get rekt every time, bones, or is it just preventive whining?
(You're free not to answer this, of course. It's just a cocky opening.)
I'd try and make the bet smaller relative to my playroll, keeping leverage at maybe 3 tops, 1~1.5 even better. "Going long" can actually mean buying a few cents and stashing away. So can "taking profit." Increasing the amount in the freezer is probably the most hopeful subgoal to gambling with 100% house money.
I mean: you know a few things about retirement and taxes. I'm sure you made a few calculations. I know you understand this magical internet money fairly well, too. Come on.
I feel like a broken record, but in bitcoin, you should be able to make profits and engage in trading that largely builds up your BTC holdings without using any leverage.
Once you practice non-leveraged for a considerable amount of time, then you can add some leverage, but like d-eddie mentioned, very small leverage.. and perhaps work your way up with the leverage once you figure out some leveraging-like systems that seem to be working for you in the long term.
Problem seems to be that so many folks who dabble in trading are really gambling and seem to be attempting to get rich too quick, and maybe once in a while they get lucky, yet instead of locking in the profits, they continue to double down or to play with amounts that are too large of a percentage of the value of their holdings.