I think those foodstuffs might decompose in transit, especially that burrito.  Ick.  However, that lifetime supply of WD-40 is appealing to me for reasons I can't put into words.

I had to look up "vulpine", as I don't recall ever hearing that term.  Makes sense now in this context, and best of luck trying to award someone with this.  50 merits in a month is no joke.