Im happy to have your accountant argue with our accountant, but on our end we have to do what the professionals we pay to handle all this tell us. Ive had to eat $500k in VAT before because someone didnt think we were supposed to charge it., and I wont do that again.
I don't need an accountant, dealing with custom rules is my daily job. More details in DM
The point is the rules aren't going to be changed. They are going to protect themselves from VAT charges. Buyers can either suck it up and pay them or abandon their orders. No need to continue.
Rules are by the law, and the law says VAT on a good is tio be charged only when the good is to enter the EU. The buyer has to pay the VAT, not the seller.