Sigh.  What a fucking mess. Thanks a lot, assholes @ Hashfast.  This is the kind of thing that will encourage me to follow your careers, if you have any left, and be sure to alert those around you of your past.

Is there anybody who is really a hardass who is located in the Bay Area?  

Taco, I love you, but not a Taco kind of person.  A hardass kind of person who will not be flimflammed with bullshit explanations.

Somebody who could conduct a fact finding mission by appearing at their office?