Confirmations are needed so that you know that the change of a double spend is close to nothing. And that isn't as easy as you think, it's quite a hassle and not worth if used for small transactions. The risk is for the seller, but he can take into account the change of some losses because of this. And with bigger transactions it would be wise to wait to see a few confirmations.
You don't need to wait. The confirmations already make it close to nothing. It's not as difficult and as big a problem as you think. Payment processors will probably insure against any loses within regards to this anyway, just like credit cards do, so moot point.
I agree, we'll likely see some 3rd parties come into the mix as BTC develops into a mainstream payment, including insurance. I don't really like the idea as that adds overhead costs, but likely a necessary burden. To add to that; while yes, confirmations are desirable to minimize risk, BTC is also capable of off-chain transactions. There could be more risk involved, however, given the proper scenario to protect all parties, these can be done instantly.