I know some of you are going to be instantly turned away thinking, "Why would I ever trust this guy with my private key?". I can assure you that I do not try to memorize the private keys, nor do I make any additional copies, unless specifically requested by the customer.
That doesn't help.
STFU TF!!!

Outrageous quote coming from the guy who lost how many million dollars in Bitcoins*, right? I realized it was him that posted on my thread soon after the incident and I was editing my main post one night. I just thought it was some douche bag at first, and it turned out it was.
*Edit - $3,539,000 USD as an avg. from Preev as of 1:24 EST 1/15/2014.