I keep seeing people draw these funky lines that look like other lines on graphs, and making corresponding "predictions", but they never come true.
Help!
Sure they do. Just Google around and you can fine plenty of confirmed technical analysis about bitcoin. Having said that, confirmed bad news, especially foreign language news, especially in non-western languages, is the best means of seeing where the price will go. Given all the recent confirmed bad news, all confirmed by good sources, and much of which is in Chinese, the predicted and proven trend is dramatically down.