I have NEVER seen such a poorly introduced system. EVERY article that I read assumes that I already have some Bitcoins and I want to buy something. Great, but how do I initially set up the Bitcoin account with some "physical" money? Never addressed in articles that I have read. For example, I have $1000US that I want to convert into Bitcoin so that I can buy something using Bitcoins. HOW?

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Poorly introduced system? What are you talking about?
The answer you seek is
HERE.If your $1000 is in paper fiat you'll need to wire it to one of the exchanges. Alternatively, you could try to buy BTC from a BTC ATM or LocalBitcoins.com, but you'll get a terrible price.