Q: How does blockchain work?

    A: Do you want to talk science shit or do you want to make some fucking money?

Q: Who uses blockchain?

    A: Ordinary folks in charge of million-dollar cryptocurrency accounts and diamond supply chains.

Q: How much is a blockchain?

    A: It’s only $250 per block of chain. A steal, if you ask us.

Q: What is the benefit of using blockchain?

    A: Provides a more efficient way for you to lose all your money at once.

Q: Is the system fully secure from hackers?

    A: Nothing that bad has happened yet, so we’re just going to say yes.

Q: How do banks feel about blockchain technology?

    A: As long as banks still find a way to exploit the poor, they couldn’t care less.

Q: Is there really child pornography encoded into Bitcoin’s blockchain?

    A: Only a little bit!

Q: Would widespread use further entrench us in our dependence on technology without which we would be plunged into a horrifying new dark age?

    A: Yes.