I, and I think most of gamblers who read your story, feel sorry for your loss. I've witnessed your winnings and sadly your loss as well. It's very good to share your story, this will help you process your losses.
But dude, you're young and you still have a shitload of bitcoins left. You'll get over it. If I were you I'd rather be thankful for not losing it all. You've managed to gain back more than 25% of your losses before pulling it all out. It could have been a disaster.
And my advice to you is to look for help for this part:
Im having thoughts of going all in and trying to win it back. I know its a bad idea, a real bad one, but Im someone who likes going big or going home.
Gamble only what you can afford to lose. Going all in with money you can't afford to lose is very stupid. If you go big, make sure you have a home to go in case shit goes wrong.