Ok, what I need to do is create an address counter, and send it like "payout x number of blocks mined". It's the only way to do it unfortunately. On the plus side, once I've written it, I'll have a hell of a lot less payouts to send out, as I'll only have to pay each miner once proportional to how many blocks they've mined.  

Going to go grab some food, then I'll write the function. I'll be ready to go then!