you have a story very similar to mine. I am too your age and have ruined my life with cryptocurrency online gambling. I am addicted to these stupid dice games. It has been 5 days since I lost control of myself and lost a shitload of money but I still feel suicidal at times, like right now. How do I get through this? I went to GA but it was little help. I have a good sponsor there though who I contact on the phone.
I still feel horrible.
why was your post deleted btw?
You haven't ruined your life... Everyday is another opportunity to turn things around. I don't have a strong urge to gamble, nor do I think about it all the time. But if I did, I'd use a chant that helped me quit smoking (worst addiction to overcome ever IMO) - I used to repeat this to myself 'this craving will pass, cigarette or not.' I believed it, so it was true, and it helped me get through the really tough times of withdraw. Maybe you can find something similar.
Get through this day by day. Don't say you'll never do it again because you'll only set yourself up for failure if you do and continue to feel like you're feeling. Instead, set a goal and reward yourself when you meet it.
I can't relate to real gambling addiction (at least the outcomes of it), and I won't tell you all the things you already know. But what I will suggest is for you to find someone you can confide in. You'd be amazed of the relief.
Good luck