You know what I fear? I fear going down on a girl that I think is clean and looking in the mirror the next morning to find little balls of dirty toilet paper stuck in my beard that rubbed off of her taint.
WTF man .... don't go down while having a beard for christ sake!

shave that dirty thing

BTW what i fear is when this evening when i'm going to A VERY VERY nice japanese resto, and they wouldn't serve alcohols during this DIP
