I thought you were serious until I saw the 5th emoticon in your post.

I've had this image problem since I was 16 when a farmer told me to stop doing what I was doing in the middle of his bean field. I thought I found the perfect spot the year before when it was a corn field. My image was destroyed by that farmer. Even since then, I've been in search of the
Image Grail. I'm cursed till I find it.
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