Trades in most cases end up being a disappointment, regardless of the outcome. If you buy at $100 and the price falls to $70 you are disappointed. If you buy at $100 sell at $120 but the price goes up to $150 you are yet again disappointed. In other words, the nothingness in trading continues for as long as you keep traing.
I sign every word you said. You have pretty much summarized what every trader must go through during his/her trades. I do trade with a very limited sum of crypto, just for fun, but I find the experience emotionally wrecking. Unless maybe if you can distance yourself from the results of your action. Which is easier said than done. I really don't know how the professional traders make it. Or maybe they just give off an impression of ease and success?