I realize, offering the escrow of 20BTC was very ambitious and that was a mistake I made.
Thanks that you realized. But it's too late. I am not your hater, I just want to repeat TP reply. You always try to argue and convince second party. You had not tried to convince yourself. I can't remember who quoted that, but it's true,
No one win on the war, some loss less and some loss more
However welcome back. Hope you will correction yourself, not just this account. Change should be on person behaviour, it could be this account or others account

Best of luck ...