Feedback disagreements should be solved with exclusions..
If you don't like it, exclude it.
I don't think people should be sticking their noses in other people's trust lists, not to mention their votes..
I've done both, i.e. excluding quietly and discussing it, and I think there are pros and cons for each approach. Prior to this "redesign" of DT I didn't feel a particular need to discuss anything, mainly because my decisions were inconsequential. Now I think contacting the person makes sense in certain situations. Completely excluding someone for a minor disagreement or misunderstanding might be an overkill.
I agree that contacting a person is fine to discuss situations but giving them an ultimatum is sketchy..
Say you include Darkstar, and darkstar included zazarb, but you don't like zazarbs ratings..
You can simply exclude zazarb and not threaten to remove/exclude darkstar unless he removes zazarb, for example..
Or whoever in dt1 included zazarb..
You don't have to go to the DT1 and threaten them to remove zazarb from DT2. Just exclude zazarb yourself and leave them alone..