shitcoins like ethereum can't solve their own limited functionality and the backdoors they have let alone attempt at bigger more serious stuff that bitcoin is dealing with

Calling the #2 crypto a shitcoin? come on......
Just being objective here, what about that inflation bug in bitcoin that was luckily discovered by a bitcoin cash developer? That could of spelled disaster for btc.
you should not confuse bugs in the protocol with bugs in an implementation software. the bug you are referring to was a bug in bitcoin core which is an implementation of bitcoin's protocol. the protocol itself has no bugs, the software can have lots of bugs.
when you compare it with ethereum, it has lots of "protocol" bugs and exploits and that is what makes it a shitcoin. not to mention that its centralization is also another reason for making it a shitcoin.