businesses accepting zero confirmations are straight up reckless!
I'm not sure I would agree with that statement. More or less every company in the world accepts credit card, which can have payments reversed for weeks or even months after they are made by me claiming my card was lost, stolen, cloned, I was defrauded, I was overcharged, etc.
these are apples and oranges though. an unconfirmed bitcoin transaction literally has no security whatsoever. relying on them defeats the purpose of using bitcoin at all since there is no proof of work involved. like satoshi said, they shouldn't be counted as part of a wallet's balance at all:
As you figured out, the root problem is we shouldn't be counting or spending transactions until they have at least 1 confirmation. 0/unconfirmed transactions are very much second class citizens. At most, they are advice that something has been received, but counting them as balance or spending them is premature.
A company like Starbucks can quite easily eat the price of the odd coffee here or there from a double spend attack. Sure, if you are a small business, or transacting with significant amounts of money, wait for some confirmations, but $3 to Starbucks is completely negligible. Alternatively use LN.

i dunno, just sounds like a reckless approach to me. there should at least be a security model of some sort. accepting unconfirmed txs is literally like accepting IOU notes from randoms off the street.
it sounds like we're just assuming that few people will steal, and the ones that do won't steal much. my experience with humans is slightly different than that.
