You take matters very personally, mikeywith, and that does not seem to be a good thing.  

Animal Farm happened to be a classic amongst books.  Very short and easy to read, too.  

The horse therein, Boxer, continuously blamed himself for nearly everything on the farm that went badly, and Boxer would also carry the weight of the work of the farm in several ways that were tangibly noticeable.  

Any lack of progress issues, and Boxer would say to himself, "I will work harder," and the solution for Boxer was always, "I will work harder," but in the end, inspite of hard work and contribution, Boxer got screwed and instead of living his final days in green pastures, he was sent to a glue house for processing.

Anyhow, I was attempting to make a point, and such point was not just about you.  Go figure.