First of all, drop the hyperbole. If you can't argue on the merits of your ideas alone, few people are going to be convinced by name calling, "utopia", etc. It just makes your position seem weak because you feel the need to engage in such tactics.
how exactly will consumers be able to sue any given establishment?
Private courts. Will that business just be able to ignore the ruling? Sure, but it will make life difficult for them. Would you do business with a company that has a history of never allowing itself to be brought to justice? Probably not.
exactly why any given restaurant cannot declare itself to be the "real" burger king?
Let's say my name is Bill Gates and I sell software "made by Bill Gates". Of course I can slap my name on it. Of course I can claim I'm "the real" Bill Gates. What I can't do is intentionally lead anyone to believe that I'm "that other" Bill Gates. That's fraud, pure and simple.