You will only be able to eat his dick if you can find him. Last time I heard about John he was hiding from the authorities so this is going to be hard especially when we all know that you aren't the most handsome guy on Earth.
And don't try to barge in uninvited or you'll probably get shot before you are given a chance to explain your motives.
He's not going to literally cook it and eat it. The expression has more than one meaning
