On a semi serious note..just talking about things can be helpful for some. Hope you feel better soon.
I already do feel like a bit of a load is off, and seeing Bob and LFC open up first helped. I just need a more positive outlook I think.
You can actually "reprogram" yourself in away you want. It takes forever and it sounds cliche and feels retarded, but it works.
Brain constantly creates random thoughts based on your past, it's up to you to choose which you focus on or if you want to add others. What you focus on becomes a feedback loop that eventually turns "real".
I think the basic mechanism is the brain not wanting to do anything new actively, since that's expensive. To combat that it'll try to tell you that you "can't do it", "it's stupid", "pointless", "cringe", whatever it can throw at you so it can just keep the same old program on repeat.
Possibly also why people sometimes have to hit rock bottom only to then miraculously change.
Or why people believe that hyperwaves apply to everything because they already worked in the past.
Also, I'm not sure if depression is actually bad. It might be a mechanism that is supposed to get us to stop doing what isn't working and seek out new solutions.
Just random SOMA that may or may not be accurate. If I had to bet on it I would say it is to some degree, but I'm no neuroperson so I don't really know either way.
Anyway, best wishes.