I had similar problems with the Mac OSX bitcoin client.  Running at home and at work, I could never get more than 8 peers, and downloading the block chain took two weeks.  I can understand the frustration.  Perhaps the recipient was also a new bitcoin user and had trouble downloading the block chain?

It's certainly one argument for server-based wallets.  It would help get new consumer users up to speed much more quickly, and avoid problems like having to ensure that port 8333 is open on your router, for example.

Sorry you had problems.  Give it time, the transaction will eventually show up.