Saying that "Hardware wallets still aren't secure, and they never will be." because a physical stolen device can be hacked is a bit sensationalist, isnt it?
What are the chances that a hacker come into my house, search and find my ledger and steal it? This is highly unlikely to happen, especially if you are a discrete person about your btc holdings.
Hardware wallets are still safe enough, especially for newbies.
If you don't have a hardware wallet, use an offline generated private key/seed (aka "paper wallet").
I might be misunderstanding you here, but how is this safer? If your concern is regarding a physical attack on your hardware wallet, then surely with a physical attack on a paper wallet it is completely trivial to steal your coins?
LOL
Paper wallet are much more complex to be really safe. Not everyone is able to properly airgap a computer , and the risks involved in case of a mistake are very high.