While I was reading your story, i was like thinking that almost million euros would be lost if you continue losing on betting, and by the way, Gambling is a game which suits jack of all trades. You might prove it by yourself that betting is gambling, but gambling in other words means you know what you are doing, risking for a thing and knows and can predict what would be the outcome is my best definition of Gambling, and think about it, you wanna make money on betting instead of thinking outside the box of what you can do on the other hand.

It is your decision at all.

However, for me you are not doing Gambling, You are Donating.