I got cherries in my cold storage, I refuse to cash them in.

Anyways, how did you store them? Download a wallet here https://bitcoin.org/en/choose-your-wallet import the key.

If you want to be silly, sell them on a exchange, like binance or something.
If you want you can trade them p2p, find someone who wants to buy them and take cash for them, or something like local bitcoins.
If you want to use it as intended, buy items with them, https://www.gyft.com/bitcoin/  is a great site, there is many places that accept bitcoin now.