Bitcoin is neither real nor new money but new fake money, and that's due to simple fact it cannot perform the primary function of money. Repeating the mantra of it being money won't make said fact go away.
that's true but also repeating the mantra that "bitcoin is fake money" doesn't turn it into a fact either.
the only fact is that you are trying so hard here to bend the facts to your own will. otherwise bitcoin is real money and it is performing all the things that are expected of money. it is just new and not-yet-matured compared to the fiat system that has existed for ages!
All fake money perform all the functions that are expected of money, expect the most important one - to serve as means for exchanging goods and services. So, the lack of this function makes bitcoin fake money.