In the case of gold certificates things are similar, it is just that those two stages are reversed. Namely in stage one, one party of the exchange deposits some gold at the bank and receives a certificate for it. This certificate is then traded for goods or services and in that way put into circulation. In stage two the opposite party i.e. a current holder of the certificate takes it to the bank to claim the deposited gold. Once the holder receives the gold the exchange process is finished. And this is how goods and services are exchanged with the help of gold certificates.
So the solution is easy. Just make Bitcoin certificates and use that as money. Problem solved
On a more serious note, anyone can establish a rather arbitrary definition of A and then claim that B is not A because B does not fit that arbitrary definition. But there's no knowledge to be gained from that line of argumentation.
Nice one. you know exactly what the poster is aiming at. I mean with your "Just make Bitcoin certificates and use that as money" suggestion. I think it can be replicated in Bitcoin world.. why not? I think the idea will work great if it's done well by a company/startup.
OP other criticisms are bit confusing. It seems he want some kind of intermediary in Bitcoin world. That would go against the ideal of Bitcoin.