For example your assertion "You are abusing anything you can get your hands on" is totally not a lie, you're just being a moron.
What would that be like if one were to actually abuse anything they can get their hands on?
Someone hands you a Mickey Mantle rookie card and you immediately draw a smiley face on it with a magic marker.
You pick up a pair of chopsticks and shove them up your nostrils.
You walk into a crowded elevator and press the fire alarm button.
God forbid you should come in contact with a family member's pet, suchmoon.
Going to the bathroom would suck.