It all started so innocently. Why not give crypto a try? All the guys at work are talking about it. Shitcoins, ICOs, Tethers, Smart Contracts. You wanted in. It was the Next Big Thing, you fucking idiot.

So you put a little money in the crypto market in 2018. How do you feel today? Portfolio in the red. You don’t even want to look at it. Hodl, they all said. It will come back after the FUD, they all said. And now you’re numb, and depressed, and can’t even afford a bottle of Jack to drown out the pain.

You’ve learned (hopefully) that hodling is bad.

Hodling is like prayer. A lot of people may believe in it, but it doesn’t fucking work. Your assets aren’t protected by God, and they do not respond to the intensity of your beliefs. No matter how hard you believe, crypto-assets just do whatever they do. The market and the universe remain indifferent to your convictions.

In the world of poker, there’s a saying: “If within the first 10 minutes, you can’t spot the sucker at the table, it’s you.” So you’ve been pwned by crypto, Mr. or Mrs. SmartyPants. Somebody else is having a nice Christmas this year with your (actual) money.

But every failure is a learning experience. Hopefully you’ve learned something too. Most successful investors eat shit at the beginning. You know why? Because the ones you’re trading against have already eaten it, and they know how to avoid the same mistakes.