Maybe you would be better off spending the extra cash and getting yourself some good mental help? Seriously. you're not right in the head. You've lost touch with reality. If not for yourself, maybe consider your wife and kid for a change. Maybe get off the internet and get your life back into order. But from what I have been told, your life has always been full of paranoid delusions. A psychiatrist can help you with that. Really, no kidding.