Sex is a puerile and animalistic urge that causes nothing but trouble. I had sex once. Or at least that's what they told me it was.
I've scoured the internet and couldn't find anyone doing what I did. Everyone else looks like Daddy unblocking Mummy.
Look, just remember to rotate the cricket bat counterclockwise, and make sure the rodents of choice are nice and healthy ahead of time. That's the summation of all I've learned in nearly 4 decades on this earth.