I am not a doctor, but it seems to me like you are using this fascination with this subject as a diversion from issues some part of you knows you are having. If you can't get medical assistance, I would suggest finding some kind of support group. Good luck.
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Hey, look at that. Techy is not above telling others to get help, but will not get the help he needs himself.
If you are not a doctor Techy, then how can you diagnose mental illness?
