LOL, seriously.  And I bet if merits were just a little bit easier to earn for lower-ranked members, they probably would go all-in for a thing like this.  As it stands, however, most of them would just be wasting their time and money waiting for notifications.  But on a serious note, merits are extremely important to any member who's here for bounties, sig campaigns, or who just wants to be a big swinging D on the forum--and I bet a lot of them do constantly check to see if they've earned any new merits.

I don't need merits to rank up anymore, but I still like earning them since it provides validation that I'm still making useful posts that others either like or agree with--but I don't want or need a smart watch to update me.  That would be going laughably overboard, but OP's scheme is amusing to say the least.