Apologies for bombing into this thread, but I'm taking the opportunity to address a specific person who I absolutely know will be reading it, simply due to its subject line.

1.  I AM NOT SATOSHI.

2.  I get annoyed when I am stalked.  I get FURIOUS when my friends are stalked.  "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

3.  That cell phone had absolutely nothing interesting on it.  I may not have Satoshi's level of OpSec, but I don't put anything interesting on cell phones.  Ever.

4.  There is nothing involving me or anyone close to me that you can do to get Satoshi's keys.  Leave them alone.

5.  There's a God Damned Pandemic on and you should have feckin' stayed home.  Leave before they shut down air travel, or you'll be stranded here.