I had difficulty finding the rules of the forum, it turned out that they are not official.
The help menu is pointless, most of the features aren't even mentioned there at all, like Rules, Merit, Trust, feedback etc. You have to look for pinned posts here and there.
Rules are pretty much official, but list is kinda unofficial, and that might be confusing. But you are right, this forum can be overwhelming for a new user, so it's a good idea to take things slowly and when in doubt, simply ask to avoid standard issues like plagiarism, trust abuse etc.
People do not read the previous comments. Several people answer the same thing simply by using different words and expressions.
That's unfortunately often the case due signature campaigns, so people are not really interested in conversations, they just wanna dump their opinion in some topic and move on. Rinse and repeat. Despite that, you will still find quality and knowledgeable members (especially if you stay away from altcoin section) with whom you can have normal conversations, just give it some time.
Regarding the look, it is outdated if you compare it to some newer ones, but I actually prefer it this way, as its not flashy and distracting at all, but I can understand why many will find it unattractive, but substance>style, at least for me.