Here is where you are at:
you indicate that you are planning to "cause problems" so you don't belong here in this thread of positive construction. I suggest you go and terrorize and threaten your little world somewhere else. Turn off your internet and go do something about building a real positive life, such as enjoying the present moment would be a good start.

We know that you have several aliases here that you use to throw your shit into a fan. Note your words in all your discussion history. You're sick in your brain spirit getting treatment could do you a big favor by starting by taking a radical decision like getting away from an internet connection for at least some time. this is the best support you could give yourself. young man, get help and encouragement from your girlfriend, family back home, friends and stranger. it's time.