First of all I am seeing that you are coping and pasting a part of the responses of this thread on your replies without quotes, if you want to quote someone use the quote button on the right of their post and edit the post as you see fit, this may seem like it is not a big deal but in this forum copy and pasting is a big no you can get banned for it.

Now back on topic, you are in a bad situation no doubt about it, but it does not seem like you have any knowledge about how to trade the markets and that is a recipe for disaster as you have probably noticed this market is highly volatile and this meas that whales and expert traders are experts at using this volatility against normal people to make them lose money, my advice then will be to keep trying to find a job and improve in other field including trading, give it at least 6 months and more important than anything backtest your system, many people begin to trade using a system they got on the Internet without knowing if it is profitable or not, and the only way to do this is by testing the system against the previous movements of the market, if you do this against several markets and your system still generates profits at the end then you at least will have an edge when you finally decide to trade the markets.