The question remains can I connect Electrum to my node without using one of the Electrum servers or will it just be a standalone wallet?
You can create an electrum server and have your electrum client connect to that specific electrum server. You can also keep the fact that your node is an electrum server private if you choose.
You can also use electrum to sign transactions only, and use bitcoin core to create and broadcast your transactions. If you do this, electrum will not keep track of balances, and would not be connecting to any server.