Out of the poor excuses I've read over the years, this must be one of the laziest oen I've ever read.

Fact is you woke up after a really long time, started shitposting in the spam boards and joined a signature campaign very shortly after waking up. On the other hand, if this is not a sold account, there's the scam accusation, which doesn't look good either.

I found an address used multiple times to pay to the signature campaign participants:
If you can sign a message from that address, your legitimaci as the account owner will be proved, but you'll have to respond to the scam claims...

So.... that's why you should never buy an account