Let's start with cutting the crap here

You are not doing it unconditionally, i.e. without forcing yourself to do that, deep down inside. You actually feel obligated, otherwise you wouldn't raise this theme. But I don't blame you in the least. Juts be honest to yourself, how much you really would want to pay. You don't have to find excuses and then feel guilty as you can't deceive yourself. Just accept the fact that you are not quite happy with the situation, and it is totally okay. I'm not saying that this is your case, but some parents are real bastards to their children and they come to heavily abuse the psychological dependence of their kids on them which they cherish and nourish