I'll handle this!

Quantum virus collapse is more properly considered as a state vector reduction. So, simply state: "vector reduction". Click your heels three times, too. This transports you to Copenhagen, where the Danish healthcare system will resolve everything. Just check the visitor list to make sure Dr Wigner hasn't got any "friends" visiting... those guys can send you right back into babbling indeterminacy. Speaking of which, I'll end the post there.