Thx @ll

actually I typed the passprhase in word, didn't saved it and printed it. Then I hid it (and lost it afterwards). I cannot remember what the passphrase was, it was either words that I chose on purpose or I typed random characters.

I always wondered if there is any technical possibilty to access those money/coins. Because if not, than the whole blockchain system has a problem. Always when someone loses a passphrase the money is gone forever.